Dead, wounded or AWOL: The voices of desperate Russian soldiers trying to get out of the Ukraine war

(AP Illustration/Peter Hamlin)

Secretly recorded calls of Russian soldiers speaking from the front lines in Ukraine with loved ones back home offer a rare glimpse of the war through Russian eyes.

As the war in Ukraine grinds into its second winter, a growing number of Russian soldiers want out, indicate. Russian soldiers speak in shorthand of 200s to mean dead, 300s to mean wounded. The urge to flee has become common enough that they also talk of 500s 鈥 people who refuse to fight.

These conversations also show clearly how the war has progressed, who initially powered Vladimir Putin鈥檚 full-scale invasion to men from all walks of life compelled to serve in grueling conditions.

The AP verified the identities of people in the calls by speaking with relatives and soldiers 鈥 some of whom are still at war in Ukraine 鈥 and researching open-source material linked to the phone numbers used by the soldiers. AP has withheld names and identifying details to protect soldiers and their families. The conversations, picked up in January 2023 鈥 some from near the in Bakhmut 鈥 have been edited for length and clarity.

As they called home, the deadliest season of the war was just beginning. . Now, , the voices of these soldiers come as a warning. These are men living off rainwater, who have killed people with knives, who know that the only thing that鈥檚 kept them alive is luck. Forgotten and exhausted, they want to go home.

THE PROFESSOR

Nicknamed 鈥淐razy Professor鈥 because of his disheveled hair, he was swept up in the first days of Russia鈥檚 September 2022 draft. He worried that he might have killed children. Now he is AWOL and haunted by visions of the dead.

鈥淚 imagined that there, on the other side, there could be young people just like us. And they have their whole lives ahead of them,鈥 he told AP in June. 鈥淏ones, tears 鈥 all the same, they are the same as we are.鈥

ARTYOM

The war seemed senseless to Artyom, except perhaps as a way to escape the string of debts he鈥檇 left behind in Russia. Speaking from Ukraine, where he鈥檇 been serving more than eight months, he told AP that he loved his family before the war and loved them even more now. He regrets he didn鈥檛 spend more time with them. In calls to his wife, he explained that everyone is 鈥済loomy as hell,鈥 and while it made sense to run away if you have the chance, he wasn鈥檛 going to desert.

鈥淚 have to save the guys who are with me in the trenches 鈥 and myself,鈥 he explained to AP in May. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 what I want to do. And to put down the Ukrainians faster and go home.鈥

ROMAN

Before Russia鈥檚 full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Roman worked at a law firm, records show. Swept up in Putin鈥檚 September 2022 mobilization, he has some advice: Avoid this war any way you can. He鈥檚 lived off rainwater, scooped a dying man鈥檚 guts back into his body, ambushed a Ukrainian dugout with knives.

鈥淚 already feel more pity shooting a bird than a person,鈥 Roman told his friend. 鈥淚鈥檓 telling you honestly, if there鈥檚 even a slight chance, get exempted from service.鈥

ANDREI

After four months in Ukraine, Andrei concluded that his life meant nothing to Moscow. Mobilized soldiers like him are 鈥渘ot considered humans,鈥 he told his mom. They鈥檙e not allowed to leave 鈥 even if they get sick or injured 鈥 because commanders fear they鈥檒l never come back.

鈥淵ou鈥檒l die in this pit where you live,鈥 he told his mom.

鈥淏etter not get sick,鈥 she said.

AP spoke with his mother in September as she was collecting tomatoes from her garden. She said she grew up in Ukraine, but her homeland has become unrecognizable. It鈥檚 filled with 鈥渢raitors and fascists,鈥 she told AP. 鈥淎re you blind or stupid, or can鈥檛 you see that there are no normal people? Or do you want your children to turn into monkeys like in America?鈥

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AP reporters Lynn Berry in Washington and Alla Konstantinova in Vilnius, Lithuania, contributed to this report. Students from the Russian translation and interpretation program at Middlebury Institute of International Studies also contributed to this report.

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